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Siemens: Introduction to Digital Transformation

During the final week of the course, you will learn about each step in the product lifecycle. You will examine how digital transformation occurs during product ideation, realization, and utilization. At the…

Nvidia: Introduction to AI in the Data Center

In this module you will see AI use cases in different industries, the concepts of AI, Machine Learning (ML) and Deep Learning (DL), understand what a GPU is, the differences between a…

CodingX: Knowledge of Python programming / May 2022

Now a days every thing switch to digital world. If you are a programmer or wanted to be PythonX: Learn Python Programming is for you. It has lots of features that will…

Mimo: Python Programming Basics / Apr. 2022

Advance your career, build apps and websites, or even become a developer. With Mimo, you can learn the skill of the century, a few minutes at a time. Used by millions of…

Udemy: Introduction to Computer Networks / Apr. 2022

KEY COURSE TOPICS How Computer Networks Work Network Topologies Networking Devices & Cabling The OSI & TCP/IP Models IP Addressing & Subnetting Switches & Routers Wireless Networking Network Security Network Planning & Designing…

Udemy: Azure Introduction to Cloud Services / Mar. 2022

This course will introduce students to the Cloud. We will review the various types of Cloud services including IaaS, PaaS and SaaS as well as an overview of the services offered by…

Udemy: Cybersecurity Law & Policy / Mar. 2022

Cybersecurity Law is one of the most rapidly growing areas of law, and issues like privacy, cybercrime, bitcoin banking, international legal issues and internet governance are some of the important areas that…

Udemy: Build EU GDPR data protection compliance from scratch (CIPT) / Mar. 2022

What you’ll learn Will have a list of 61 templates/documents that will help them start GDPR programme Understand what GDPR needs in order to achieve compliance Go for CIPT, CIPM and CIPP/E…

INFOSEC: NIST 800-171 / Mar. 2022

NIST 800-171 is just one of many federal publications that contractors and companies working with the government are required to comply with. This module will introduce you to NIST 800-171: what it…

Penn: Privacy Law and Data Protection / Mar. 2022

About this Course What does it take to comply with privacy laws? In this course, we’ll look at the practical aspects of navigating the complex landscape of privacy requirements. Better understanding privacy…

Coursera: Linux fundamentals / Feb. 2022

Welcome to Linux Operating System, the first course of the Linux Fundamentals specialization. By enrolling in this course, you are taking the first step to kick start your career in information technology.…

Coursera: Information Security: Context and Introduction / Dec 2021

In this course you will explore information security through some introductory material and gain an appreciation of the scope and context around the subject. This includes a brief introduction to cryptography, security…

Futurelearn: University of Groningen: Understanding the GDPR / Dec 2021

Learning outcomes Identify the main positions of the GDPR, including key concepts, principles and data protection roles. Explore rights of data subjects and their relevance in daily life. Investigate obligations of data…

Udemy: Information Security Awareness-ISO 27001:2013 / Nov. 2021

The essential objective of this course is to create awareness within the organization regarding various basic requirements of the standard & impart working knowledge on how these requirements can be interpreted to…

Coursera: Information Systems Auditing, Controls and Assurance / Nov. 2021

Information systems (IS) are important assets to business organizations and are ubiquitous in our daily lives. With the latest IS technologies emerging, such as Big Data, FinTech, Virtual Banks, there are more…

Udemy: Information Security Awareness: ISO 27001-2013 / Nov. 2021

What you’ll learn Understand how to be a secured computer user Understand how to be respond to various security incidents Understand the need for Business Continuity planning and Disaster Recovery How to…

Linkedin Learning: Cybersecurity foundations / Oct. 2021

Set a rock-solid foundation for your network, users, and data by learning about the basics of cybersecurity. Security expert Malcolm Shore describes how to assess and mitigate risks using various cybersecurity frameworks…

Linkedin Learning: GDPR Compliance: Essential Training / Oct. 2021

The General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) is a privacy-related regulation in the EU that became active and enforceable in May of 2018. GDPR requires US companies doing business in the EU to…

Linkedin Learning: Creating a Culture of Privacy / Oct. 2021

Every news cycle, we seem to hear about another privacy-related problem, whether it’s a data breach, a controversial policy, or the launch of a product that collects personal information. Privacy is on…

Linkedin Learning: Understanding and Prioritizing Data Privacy / Oct. 2021

Get an introduction to the basics of data privacy: what it is, why it matters, and who it impacts, from consumers and private citizens to policymakers and C-suite business leaders. Michelle Dennedy,…

Coursera: What is compliance? / Oct. 2021

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN Define compliance within an industry setting Describe the ways in which compliance affects any industry, company, or organization Identify the reasons industries, companies, and organizations should engage in…

Coursera: Privacy In Europe / Oct. 2021

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN Understand legal fundamentals in European privacy law Create awareness for the role of privacy protection and the rule of law Learn about the human rights background of privacy…

Linkedin Learning: Cybersecurity at Work / Oct. 2021

Cybersecurity isn’t solely within your IT department’s purview. If you own a smartphone, work on a computer, or use the internet, then you’re exposed to a variety of security risks on a…

Linkedin Learning: Business analyst and Project Manager Collaboration / Oct. 2021

In a business environment where complexity and change are the norm, business analysts and project managers can collaborate together to get more successful results and better business outcomes. If you’re a PM…

Linkedin Learning: Learning Security Frameworks / Oct. 2021

Security frameworks are designed to help organizations boost their security posture. Such frameworks provide security practitioners—and their business partners—with a common set of practices to follow, as well as a baseline that…

Linkedin Learning: Achieving GDPR Compliance with Microsoft Technologies / Oct. 2021

Starting from May 25, 2018, all European individuals are protected by the new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR). All businesses and their trading partners, including all foreign companies processing data of EU…

Linkedin Learning: Learning GDPR / Oct. 2021

The General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR)—a new privacy regulation in the EU—introduces several significant changes to the way organizations that collect or use the data of EU citizens must approach data privacy.…

Cybrary: Introduction to IT & Cybersecurity / Sep. 2021

In this course what we’re gonna be covering, we’re gonna start off with just some of the basics. For instance, What do we mean when we say cyber security? What does that…

Linkedin Learning: Learning Cloud Computing Security / Aug. 2021

Understand the basics of cloud security—a core component of cloud computing. Beginning with the basics, instructor David Linthicum explains the business case for cloud security and the levels and models available, including…

Linkedin learning: Business Analyst and Project Manager Collaboration / Aug. 2021

In a business environment where complexity and change are the norm, business analysts and project managers can collaborate together to get more successful results and better business outcomes. If you’re a PM…

Linkedin learning: Learning Cloud Computing: Cloud Security

Understand the basics of cloud security—a core component of cloud computing. Beginning with the basics, instructor David Linthicum explains the business case for cloud security and the levels and models available, including…

Linkedin Learning: Digital transformation / Aug. 2021

It seems as though everywhere you turn, digital transformation is happening. But what is digital, exactly, and what does it encompass? In this course, instructor Peter High helps business leaders better understand…

Linkedin Learning: Business Analyst and Project Manager Collaboration / Aug. 2021

In a business environment where complexity and change are the norm, business analysts and project managers can collaborate together to get more successful results and better business outcomes. If you’re a PM…

Programming hub: Programming fundamentals / Apr. 2021

What Will I Learn? How do we communicate with the computer. How to give instructions to a Computer to perform a task. How to help a computer make decisions. Common mistakes made…

Programming hub: Java certifications course and has knowledge of java programming / Apr. 2021

Build your programming skills in the Java Programming language. Become a Java programming master with this programming learning app. Learn the basics of Java Programming or become an expert in Java Programming…

Coursera project work: Command Line in Linux

Linux is a popular operating system that is based on the Unix operating system. It has many distributions which have different interfaces for installing software, different user interfaces, and so on. One…

IBM Specialization: Cybersecurity IT Fundamentals Specialization / No expiration date

This badge earner has completed the learning activities associated with the IT Fundamentals for Cybersecurity Specialization offered through Coursera. This specialization includes 4 courses. The individual has learned and explored concepts around…

Edx: PSWG1: Power Searching with Google / No expiration date

Power Searching With Google makes it amazingly easy to find information. Learn about the powerful advanced tools that are on the Internet to help you become an advanced power searcher and find…

IBM Specialization: Key Technologies for Business / No expiration date

WHAT YOU WILL LEARN Understand key technologies driving modern businesses and have meaningful conversations around Cloud, Data and AI, and related buzzwords Gain Foundational Knowledge of Cloud Computing, Public/Private/Hybrid Clouds, IaaS/PaaS/SaaS, VMs,…

Introduction to Artificial Intelligence (AI) / No expiration date

Learning Objectives Define AI. Describe examples, applications, and impact of AI. Explore an interactive AI app. Define basic AI concepts. Explain Machine Learning, Deep Learning, and Neural Networks. Explain the application areas…

IBM: Introduction to Cloud Computing / No expiration date

Define cloud computing and explain its essential characteristics, history, the business case for cloud, and emerging technologies enabled by cloud Describe the cloud service (IaaS, Saas, Paas) & deployment models (Public, Private,…

Coursera project work: Wireshark for Basic Network Security Analysis

In this 1-hour 30-minutes long project-based course, you will learn how to use Wireshark to capture the Network Traffic you need and analyze it securely. You will have a better understanding of…

Stanford Online: Organizational Analysis / No expiration date

In this introductory, self-paced course, you will learn multiple theories of organizational behavior and apply them to actual cases of organizational change. It is hard to imagine living in modern society without…

IBM: Cyber Threat Intelligence badge / No expiration date

This course gives you the background needed to gain Cybersecurity skills as part of the Cybersecurity Security Analyst Professional Certificate program. You will understand network defensive tactics, define network access control and…

IBM: Penetration Testing, Incident Response and Forensics / No expiration date

This course gives you the background needed to gain Cybersecurity skills as part of the Cybersecurity Security Analyst Professional Certificate program. You will learn about the different phases of penetration testing, how…

IBM: Cybersecurity Compliance Framework & System Administration / No expiration date

This course gives you the background needed to understand the key cybersecurity compliance and industry standards. This knowledge will be important for you to learn no matter what cybersecurity role you would…

IBM: Cybersecurity Roles, Processes & Operating System Security / No expiration date

This course gives you the background needed to understand basic Cybersecurity around people. process and technology. You will learn: ● Understand the key cybersecurity roles within an Organization. ● List key cybersecurity…

IBM: Introduction to Cybersecurity Tools & Cyber Attacks

This course gives you the background needed to understand basic Cybersecurity. You will learn the history of Cybersecurity, types and motives of cyber attacks to further your knowledge of current threats to…

Harvardx: CS50B: CS50’s Computer Science for Business Professionals

This is CS50’s introduction to computer science for business professionals, designed for managers, product managers, founders, and decision-makers more generally. Whereas CS50 itself takes a bottom-up approach, emphasizing mastery of low-level concepts and implementation details…

Udemy: Cloud Computing Course for Beginners / No expiration date

See credential

Harvardx: Introduction to Digital Humanities / No expiration date

As primary sources of information are more frequently digitized and available online than ever before, how can we use those sources to ask new questions? How did Chinese families organize themselves and…

CBS – Strategic Management / No expiration date

The world of business strategy is in transition. What used to work doesn’t anymore — not necessarily. This course prepares you to think strategically in an age when companies like Apple, Google,…

Skillsoft: Encouraging Team Communication and Collaboration

Internal IBM credentials

IBM Think40 – IOT, Big Data, Analytics, Design thinking, Agile, Blockhain, Hybrid Cloud, Redhat, Opensource, Watson fundamentals / No expiration date

Internal IBM credentials  

Google IT Support Specialization / No expiration date

Gain skills required to succeed in an entry-level IT capacity Learn to perform day-to-day IT support tasks including computer assembly, wireless networking, installing programs, and customer service Learn how to provide end-to-end…

My Read Books Shelf

My Read Books Shelf

Showing 1-15 of 64 Books
No Image Available Daniel T. Willingham: Why...
Cognitive scientist Dan Willingham focuses his acclaimed research on the biological and cognitive basis of learning. His book will help...
Daniel T. Willingham
No Image Available Margaret O’Mara: The Code:...
Long before Margaret O'Mara became one of our most consequential historians of the American-led digital revolution, she worked in the...
Finance Margaret O'Mara
No Image Available Adam Fisher: Valley of...
"This is the most important book on Silicon Valley I've read in two decades. It will take us all back...
History Adam Fisher
No Image Available Bec Evans: How to...
How to Have a Happy Hustle shares the secrets of innovation experts and startup founders to help you make your ideas...
Business Development & Entrepreneurship Bec Evans
No Image Available Johnson, Stefanie K.:Inclusify: The...
Humans have two basic desires: to stand out and to fit in. Companies respond by creating groups that tend to...
Sociology Stefanie K. Johnson
No Image Available Mike Michalowicz: Profit first
Conventional accounting uses the logical (albeit, flawed) formula: Sales - Expenses = Profit. The problem is, businesses are run by...
Accounting Mike Michalowicz
No Image Available Sebastian Klein: The Loop...
How best to adapt established companies to a rapidly changing economy has long been a topic of debate in both...
Business & Culture Sebastian Klein
No Image Available Frederic Laloux: Reinventing Organizations:...
The way we manage organizations seems increasingly out of date. Survey after survey shows that a majority of employees feel...
Business & Organizational Learning Frederic Laloux
No Image Available Julio Mario Ottino: The...
Today’s complex problems demand a radically new way of thinking—one in which art, technology, and science converge to expand our...
Management & Leadership Julio Mario Ottino
No Image Available Chris Argyris: Individual and...
The emphasis on organizational change in the corporate life of recent years-including job redesign, autonomous groups, high performance work systems,...
Organizational Learning Chris Argyris
No Image Available Can Akdeniz: Organizational developement
Think of any organization to which you belong. There are many, such as the company that hired you or a...
Organizational Learning Can Akdeniz
No Image Available James Gleick: The Information:...
Winner of the Royal Society Winton Prize for Science Books 2012, the world's leading prize for popular science writing. We...
Engineering James Gleick
No Image Available Frédéric Laloux: Reinventing Organizations:...
The way we manage organizations seems increasingly out of date. Deep inside, we sense that more is possible. We long...
Management & Leadership Frederic Laloux
No Image Available The Fifth Discipline: The...
Peter Senge, founder and director of the Society for Organisational Learning and senior lecturer at MIT, has found the means of creating a...
Business & Organizational Learning
No Image Available Richard P. Rumelt: The...
What passes for strategy in too many businesses, government agencies, and military operations is a toxic mix of wishful thinking...
Richard P. Rumelt

Code Projects

My personal projects

Project 1. A simple calculator built using HTML, CSS and JavaScript

Project 2. Stopwatch

Project 3. A Countdown clock

Project 4. Rock, Paper & Scissor game

Project 5. A simple platformer game

Project 6. Dragable Sticky notes

Project 7 . Color picker

Project 8. A Simple Budget Planner

Project 9. Javascript Quiz

Creative writing

My Creative writing projects

Course 1 - Lesson 1

Danish:

En januar morgen i Poseidon

Åh, jeg står i glæde på en badebro en iskold vinter morgen i januar måned. Klokken har lige passeret halv syv om morgenen fortæller mit nye vandtætte Apple Watch ur mig imens jeg langtsomt ligger det sammen med mit mørke Boss tøj og Saint Laurent pung imens jeg hopper i mit badetøj på badebroen.
 
Jeg kigger mig omkring, men der er ikke en sjæl at se. Denne morgen er ekstra kølig kan jeg godt mærke og selv metalgelænderet fra badebroen ned til vandet må selv vige for rimfrosten. Jeg står nærmest nøgen nu i mine sorte Speedo badebukser samt med Adidas sportshåndklæde, som jeg har lirket omkring skulderen denne kølige morgen.
 
Jeg ryster lidt men fortsætter videre langsomt ned af trappen til vandet, imens jeg holder godt fast i gelænderet. Det er lidt vakkelvoren bemærker jeg ved nedstigningen. Det gyster i mig og ved hvert skridt jeg tager nyder jeg det iskolde vand. Kulden er fantastisk her til morgen tænkte jeg for mig selv med et smil. Jeg føler mig i live selvom min krop hader mig.
 
Men kulden betyder ikke noget for mig sålænge jeg er oppe på mærkerne. Det føles rart og giver mig fornyet energi. Det giver giver en helt specielt indspark til mit immunsystem når jeg bliver udsat for at vinterbade har jeg hørt nogle sige. Det regenerer mig fortalte de mig og og giver en ny energi. Jeg forbander dem og stolede jo ikke på dem alligevel iemns jeg gyser.
 

Jeg er dog opvokset med at vinterbade, ofte alene men også sammen med min familie og venner i vinterbade klubben.

For mig er det en helt speciel oplevelse, at bade om vinteren, både alene og sammen med andre. De andre var dog ikke med idag. Jeg er alene sammen med Hr. Vinter og en masse måger klokken  syv om morgenen. Der ligger  intet sne, vejret og vandet tog sig nemlig mildt ud denne kølige morgen selvom der var død koldt.

 

Årh hvor er det herligt, nu at være helt alene under vandet. Jeg begynder let at baske med vingerne for at få gang i blodomløbet og skabe noget varme og med et og med et gys og hurtigt ryk begynder jeg at svømme i det iskolde vand.

Mågerne i det fjerne skrætter op. Jeg har forstyrret deres pirkende nysgerrighed.

English

A January morning in Poseidon

Ow, I am happily standing on a jetty on this icy winter morning. It’s just past half past seven in the morning, my new waterproof Apple Watch tells me as I slowly lie down my dark Boss clothes and Saint Laurent purse while I jump in my swimwear on the jetty.

I look around, but there is not a soul to be seen. I can tell this morning is extra chilly, and even the metal railing from the bathing bridge down to the water has to give way to the hoar frost. I’m standing almost naked now in my black Speedo swimming trunks and wearing the Adidas sports towel draped around my shoulder this chilly morning.

I shake a little but continue slowly down the stairs to the water while holding on tightly to the railing. It’s a bit rickety, I notice on the descent. I shiver, and I enjoy the icy water with every step I take. The cold is fantastic this morning, I thought to myself with a smile. I feel alive even though my body hates me.

But the cold doesn’t matter to me as long as I’m on the mark. It feels nice and gives me renewed energy. I have heard some say that it boosts my immune system when I am exposed to winter baths. It regenerates me, they told me and gives me new energy. I cursed them, and I didn’t trust them anyway. I shudder.

However, I grew up swimming in the winter, often alone and with my family and friends in the winter swimming club.

For me, it is an exceptional experience to bathe in winter alone and with others. However, the others were not with us today. I am alone with Mr. Winter and many seagulls at seven in the morning. There was no snow, and the weather and the water were mild this chilly morning, even though it was dead cold.

Oh, how wonderful it is now to be alone underwater. I start lightly flapping my wings to get the circulation going and create some heat, and with a shudder and a quick jerk, I start swimming in the icy water.

The seagulls in the distance squawk. I have disturbed their piqued curiosity.

 

 

Course 1 - Lesson 2​

Solen skinner skarpt på mig

Danish

Jeg kniber øjnene lidt i for at undgå solens skarpe stråler. Jeg sad sagte på toppen af verden følte jeg alt imens mine håndled er godt ømme efter den knude de bandt om mine hænder med imorges. Godt 10 meter fra mig leger en pige og dreng tæt sammen. De griner højlydt af deres fælles leg samt af deres tant og fjas de gør med hinanden.

Et ældre par, en dame med kyse og en mand med stok står stille og tæt derpå. De ser mere sammenbidte ud end børnene. Jeg kaster mt blik hen på I en lille lysning derfra ved siden af et stort gulligt og roligt kastanjetræ står en ung mand og kvinde ser jeg. De ser anspændt ud da jeg kort får øjenkontakt med dem. De stirrer på mig. Kvinden tager herefter hånden over sin mund i forbavselse og lukker øjnene, som var hun forlegen over noget. Jeg forstår ingenting.

Der stimles flere mennesker til i det fjerne, men jeg kan ikke se deres ansigter. Kun deres silhuetter derude i horisonten. På den nøgne blå himmel er der kun lidt skyer ude i horisonten. Vinden har taget godt fat nu bemærker jeg imens jeg igen kigger på de legende børn. Drengen løfter for sjov op i pigens kjole imens han skaber sig: “for her er der ekstra varmt..” ler han. Pigen bliver hidsig, sur og skælder drengen ud med sin pegefinger imens hun råber et eller andet. Drengen griner bare og pjalter videre som om intet var hændt. Det varmer mit hjerte, at se de små liv rende rundt og jeg giver dem et smil med på vejen selvom de nok ikke ænser mig for noget.

En solsort lander og pikker lidt i jorden et stykke fra den ældre mand og kvinde. “Hvis bare…” ånder jeg sagte ud imens jeg bliver afbrudt af deres blikke, der er rettet stift på mig. Det forstår jeg dog ikke noget af imens jeg gisper efter vejret denne varme dag. De til vandrende mennesker fra det fjerne er i højt humør og de klukker og griner af hinanden imens deres små bål på pæle tager godt med blus.

For at at få overblik over dem alle lukker jeg øjnene hårdt i igen imens en tanke sætter sig fast i mig: “Hvornår skal jeg  mon dø?” En frejdig mand fra flokken spankulere op imod mig imens han brøler og peger på mig. “haha se nu der” bliver der råbt. Jeg bliver flov og forlegen over alt dette imens ilden tager goodt fat i mit tøj og mine mine kinder smulder en efter en. Jeg spejder kort derefter på dem alle og ser mange forskellige skikkelser af både mænd, kvinder og børn alle i højt humør. Bare jeg også havde en familie tænker jeg. Jeg bliver nu ekstra forlegen over ikke, at have fået lov til at tage mit pæne tøj på idag: En hvid kjole med gamacher og med rødt mønster.

Jeg har kun denne simple grimme sorte kjole på. Hvordan kan man gå i sådan noget stads til et arrangement som dette. Den tilhuublende mand opfordrer nu de andre til at gøre ham trop og et par af mændene adlyder. Hvorfor ved jeg ikke. “Kom nu alle skal omkring” blev der sagt spydigt og hvæsende og de placerer alle de brændende pæle omkring mig. Jeg sveder ikke selvom det er en varm sommerdag tænker jeg for mig selv imens jeg ånder ud.

English

I squinted my eyes a little to avoid the sun’s sharp rays. I sat gently on top of the world, and I felt that my wrists were sore from the knot they tied around my hands this morning. A good 10 meters from me, a girl and boy are playing close together. They laugh loudly at their joint games, at their aunt, and at the pranks they play on each other.

An elderly couple with a kiss and a man with a cane stand quietly and close together. They look more clenched than the children. I cast my gaze towards In a small clearing from there; next to a large yellowish and calm chestnut tree, I see a young man and woman standing.

They look tense as I briefly make eye contact with them. They stare at me. The woman then puts her hand over her mouth in astonishment and closes her eyes as if she were embarrassed about something. I understand nothing.

More people crowd in the distance, but I can’t see their faces. Only their silhouettes are out there on the horizon. There are only a few clouds on the horizon. The wind has taken hold now, I notice as I look at the playing children again. For fun, the boy lifts up the girl’s dress while making up: “because it’s extra hot here…” he laughs. The girl becomes irritable and angry and scolds the boy with her index finger while shouting something. The boy just laughs and rambles on as if nothing happened. It warms my heart to see the little lives running around, and I give them a smile along the way, even though they probably don’t care about me for anything.

A blackbird lands and pokes a little at the ground some distance from the elderly man and woman. “If only…” I breathe out softly as I am interrupted by their gaze fixed on me. However, I need to understand that while gasping for air on this hot day. The wandering people from afar are in high spirits and are chuckling and laughing at each other while their small fires on poles take on flares.

I close my eyes tightly to get an overview of them all while a thought sticks in me: “When will I die?” A cheerful man from the pack struts up to me while he roars and points at me. “Ha ha, look there,” is shouted. I get embarrassed by all this while fire takes hold of my clothes, and my cheeks crumble one by one. I soon scouted them all and saw many different figures of men, women, and children, all in high spirits. If only I had a family, too. I’m now embarrassed that I wasn’t allowed to wear my nice clothes today: a white dress with leggings and a red pattern.

I’m only wearing this simple, ugly black dress. How can you go to such a city for an event like this? The aspiring man now calls on the others to make him his friend, and some men obey. I do not know.

“Come now, everyone must go around,” was said, spearing and hissing, and they placed all the burning stakes around me. I’m not sweating even though it’s a hot summer day, I think to myself as I exhale.

Course 1 - Lesson 3

Dansk:

Min værste følelsesmæssige oplevelse


Den værste og mest følelsesmæssige nedtur jeg nogensinde har oplevet må have været, da jeg mistede alt! Det føles ligesom at falde ned af en trappe baglæns med søm i uden at vide hvad, der er op og ned. Du er ikke forvirret blot konfus og har ikke rigtigt det store overblik over noget som helst.
Jeg kan ikke helt huske hvad der præcist skete, men det var i vinteren 2006 og jeg var lige startet i 2.g på gymnasiet. På et eller andet tidspunkt gled jeg ind i en depression så dyb, at jeg blev mistænksom over alt og alle og det var højst sandsynligt min første psykose når jeg nu tænker tilbage.

En dag da en af mine nærmeste veninder i klassen spurgte mig hvad jeg skulle have på til festen? – efterfulgt af pinlig tavshed, da hun hurtigt indså, at hun havde lavet en fortalelse fordi jeg slet ikke var inviteret med til festen.
Jeg blussede op og mine kinder blev helt røde og jeg følte sådan en varme i kroppen af vrede og skuffelse, at det var helt ubærligt.
Alle mine venner var inviteret med, men ikke mig. Det førte uden tvivl til en dårlig stemning på Facebook søndagen efter, hvor jeg så billeder af alle mine venner til fest. Det tog hårdt på mig og følte, at jeg havde en klump galt i halsen jeg ej kunne få ned og hver gang jeg scrollede op og ned på facebook for at se deres billeder blev jeg mere og mere indebrændt.
Hvis jeg først er syg, så skal jeg også være frygteligt syg. Jeg tror i hvert fald, at det er det, der skete i mit hoved, da jeg endelig fik diagnosen: Posttraumatisk stresslidelse og dyssocial personlighedsforstyrrelse. Og en lille dosis social angst som krydderi. Det lyder mere som en opskrift end en sygdom. At jeg døjede med PTSD kom ikke som en overraskelse for nogen.. Det, der slår mig, er, hvor hurtigt diagnosen tager overhånd over en.
Efter at have fået diagnosen tog jeg hjem. Da jeg kom hjem til mine forældres gamle røde mursten hus begyndte jeg, at google mine nye diagnoser og som sædvanlig dukker de mest ekstreme tilfælde op. Soldat dræbte sin familie efter krigstraumer. En mand gik amok med bue og pil og dræbte flere borgere. Shit.
Jeg er nu officielt en tosse. Forventes jeg at dræbe eller voldtage nu, hvor jeg er blevet diagnosticeret? Nej, det gjorde det heldigvis ikke. Det var kun forventet, at jeg var syg og bekendt af Psyiatrien at jeg ville blive rask igen på et senere tidspunkt. Mareridt var en del af diagnosen. Okay, dem havde jeg allerede før diagnoserne. Jeg har også kæmpet med depression og når man har det kunne det føre til selvskade – og det havde jeg også gjort i et stykke tid.
Selvom de fleste af mine snit var gemt under mine ben. Jeg griner stadig, når nogen siger, at selvskadere er opmærksomhedsforstyrrelser.

Til slut havde jeg en lang checkliste. Og uden at være klar over det, var jeg gået fra kun at have få symptomer til at have dem alle. Det var, hvad der var forventet af mig. Jeg havde PTSD, og jeg havde ikke ordentlig PTSD, før jeg var syg. Det giver ingen mening. Der er ingen anden logisk forklaring på, hvorfor jeg blev så meget mere syg efter diagnosen, end jeg var før. Jeg har aldrig taget denne personlighedsforstyrrelse seriøst. Personlighedsforstyrrelser var for skøre mennesker. Mor jeg kan ikke tage i skole i dag, – jeg er nemlig syg fortalte jeg hende tit med bøjet nakke. Og med sygdommen, kom de fysiske undskyldninger. Det er rart hvordan du ender med at klamre dig fast i at fysiske sygdoms undskyldninger er de eneste legitime undskyldninger der findes. Jeg uviklede også migræne i denne periode, sandsynligvis fordi min krop og hovede var på konstant overarbejde. Hvorfor jeg var så bange for at sige, at det var det, der foregik inde i min hjerne, der var ødelæggende, ved jeg ærlig talt ikke.

Måske slog skammen til, eller måske var jeg bange for at blive opfattet som overdramatisk. Min sygdom tog overhånd. Dette var min, og kun min dyrebare som Gollum vil have sagt det. På et tidspunkt tænker jeg, at jeg måske sammenligner mig med Golum fra Ringenes Herre – og sygdommen var min ring. My Precious.

Nogle gange holder min krop helt op med at trække vejret af sig selv. Som om jeg ikke skulle trække vejret mere. Som om min krop bare giver op. Det nytter ikke længere, Kasper. Vi har prøvet nok, og det virker ikke. Som om det aldrig stoppede, som om alt var helt normalt. I et par sekunder var alt helt stille. Verden, mig, sindet. Som om jeg var død i et lille sekund. Og det gav mig bestemt ingen tilfredsstillelse.
Måske forsøger min krop at fortælle mig, hvor lam jeg ville være, hvis jeg ikke længere var i live?

Samtidig ville det være befriende. Måske ville jeg aldrig føle lettelse eller befrielse igen. Men i det øjeblik man indser, at man giver slip, skal det også være det bedste i verden har jeg hørt. Jeg er der ikke endnu, og jeg kommer der nok aldrig. Min familie betyder alt for mig, at jeg nogensinde ville udsætte dem for tabet af et barn, en bror og en samlever. Måske endda en far i fremtiden. Jeg ville aldrig udsætte dem for det, for jeg ved, at de har arbejdet så hårdt for ikke at udsætte mig for det samme.

Kender du belastningen af en søn, der sidder og ser sin mor græde, fordi hendes barn har det svært? Skyld, hjælpeløshed? Har du brug for at trøste, men aner du ikke hvordan. Frygten når der er totalt sammenbrud og drengen ser moderen ligge i fosterstilling og hyperventilere? Der kommer du til et punkt, hvor du virkelig er bange for, at nogen skal dø. Først da forstår jeg, hvordan det må være for en forælder at se sit barn lide. På samme måde føles det for en søn at se sin mor hyperventilere og skrige af ren psykisk smerte, med baggrund i barnets smerte. Skyldfølelse og hjælpeløshed. Følelsen af at have forsøgt at gøre alting rigtigt, men så går det alligevel galt. Uden at det nogensinde nødvendigvis er din egen skyld.

Åndedrættet er jo stort set i kontrol. Det kan få et barn til at indse sin mors smerte, og det spillede en stor rolle i både undfangelsen og fødslen af barnet. Det kommer til at spille en stor rolle i livet, og det kommer til at spille en stor rolle, når det kommer til hvile for sidste gang. Jeg dør en gang om dagen og står op to gange. En om morgenen til et nyt liv. Karakteriseret ved nøjagtig det samme som den forrige, men med en lidt lavere vejrtrækning. Lidt mindre vilje til at leve, og lidt mindre skyldfølelse hver dag. Jeg vil have hjælp, men ingen vil hjælpe. Jeg vil have et kram, men har ingen at kramme. Der er ingen, der tager fat i mig, holder mig fast og er i stand til at gennemtænke, hvordan jeg har det i det øjeblik. Ingen tænker på mig, alle tænker på sig selv. Jeg er træt af at tænke på mig selv. Det må være sådan det føles for mor.

English

My worst emotional experience

The worst and most emotional low I have ever experienced must have been when I lost everything! It feels like falling down a staircase backward with nails in it, not knowing what is up and down. You are not confused, just confused, and don’t really have the big picture of anything.
I can’t quite remember what exactly happened, but it was in the winter of 2006, and I had just started second grade at the high school. At one point or another, I slipped into a depression so deep that I became suspicious of everything and everyone, and it was most likely my first psychosis when I thought back.
One day when one of my closest friends in class asked me what I should wear to the party? – followed by an awkward silence as she quickly realized that she had made a mistake because I wasn’t invited to the party at all.
I flared up, and my cheeks turned completely red, and I felt such heat in my body from anger and disappointment that it was completely unbearable.

All my friends were invited, but not me. It undoubtedly led to a bad mood on Facebook the following Sunday, where I saw pictures of all my friends at the party. It took a toll on me, and I felt like I had a lump in my throat that I couldn’t get down every time I scrolled up and down on Facebook to see their pictures, I got more and more burned out.
If I am sick first, then I must also be terribly sick. At least, I think that’s what was going through my head when I finally got the diagnosis: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Dissocial Personality Disorder. And a small dose of social anxiety as a spice. It sounds more like a recipe than a disease. That I suffered from PTSD did not come as a surprise to anyone… What strikes me is how quickly the diagnosis takes hold of you.
After receiving the diagnosis, I went home. When I got home to my parents’ old red brick house, I started googling my new diagnoses, and, as usual, the most extreme cases appeared. The soldier killed his family after war trauma. A man went on a rampage with a bow and arrow and killed several citizens. Shit.

I am now officially a lunatic. Am I expected to kill or rape now that I have been diagnosed? No, luckily, it didn’t. It was only expected that I was ill and known by Psychiatry that I would get well again at a later date. Nightmares were part of the diagnosis. Okay, I already had them before the diagnosis. I have also struggled with depression, and when you have it, it can lead to self-harm – and I had done that for a while.
Although most of my incisions were tucked under my legs. I still laugh when someone says self-harm is attention deficit disorder.
In the end, I had a long checklist. And without realizing it, I had gone from having only a few symptoms to having them all. It was what was expected of me. I had PTSD, and I didn’t have proper PTSD until I was sick. It makes no sense. There is no other logical explanation as to why I became so much sicker after the diagnosis than I was before. I have never taken this personality disorder seriously. Personality disorders were for crazy people.
Mother, I can’t go to school today – I’m sick, I often told her with my neck bent. And with the illness came the physical excuses. It’s funny how you end up clinging to the fact that physical illness excuses are the only legitimate excuses out there. I also developed migraines during this period, probably because my body and mind were constantly working overtime. Why I was so afraid to say that it was what was going on inside my brain that was devastating, I honestly don’t know.
Maybe shame kicked in, or maybe I was afraid of being perceived as overdramatic. My illness took over. This was mine, and only mine, precious as Gollum would have said it. At one point, I think I might compare myself to Gollum from Lord of the Rings – and the disease was my ring. My Precious.

Sometimes my body just stops breathing on its own. Like I shouldn’t breathe anymore. Like my body just gives up. It’s no longer useful, Kasper. We’ve tried enough, and it doesn’t work. As if it never stopped, as if everything was completely normal. For a few seconds, everything was completely quiet. The world, me, the mind. Like I was dead for a tiny second. And it certainly didn’t give me any satisfaction.
Maybe my body is trying to tell me how lame I would be if I were no longer alive?

At the same time, it would be liberating. Maybe I would never feel relief or liberation again. But the moment you realize that you let go, it must also be the best thing in the world I’ve heard. I’m not there yet, and I probably never will be. My family means everything to me that I would ever put them through the loss of a child, a brother, and a partner. Maybe even a father in the future. I would never put them through that because I know they have worked so hard not to put me through the same thing.

Do you know the stress of a son sitting and watching his mother cry because her child is having a hard time? Guilt, helplessness? Do you need to comfort but don’t know how. The fear when there is a total breakdown and the boy sees the mother lying in the fetal position and hyperventilating? There you get to a point where you are really afraid that someone is going to die. Only then do I understand what it must be like for a parent to see their child suffer. In the same way, it feels to a son to see his mother hyperventilating and screaming from pure psychological pain against the backdrop of the child’s pain. Guilt and helplessness. The feeling of having tried to do everything right, but then it still goes wrong. Without it ever being necessarily your own fault.
After all, breathing is largely under control. It can make a child realize its mother’s pain, and it plays a major role in both the conception and birth of the child. It’s going to play a big role in life, and it’s going to play a big role when it comes to rest for the last time. I die once a day and rise twice. One in the morning for a new life. Characterized by exactly the same as the previous one, but with slightly lower breathing. A little less will to live and a little less guilt every day. I want help, but no one will help. I want a hug but have no one to hug. There is no one to grab me, hold me, and give able to think through how I feel at that moment. No one thinks about me. Everyone thinks about themselves. I’m tired of thinking about myself. That must be how it feels for mom.

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Mørke skyer havde samlet sig i det fjerne. Camilla sad sikkert indenfor sammen med hendes mor. Camilla hostede dog og følte sig meget træt. Hun var syg. Hun ville have hendes mor til at tage hende til lægeklinikken.

“Mor, jeg føler mig virkelig meget syg,” sagde hun med en lav andægtig stemme.

“Jeg tror hellere, at jeg skal tage dig med hen til lægen,” sagde moren mens Camilla snøftede.

De satte sig ind i deres lettere ramponerede bil og kørte til lægehuset imens regnen dalede langsomt ned. De gik ind i ventesalen. Her stod den nydelige fraskilte læge og snakkede med sekretæren om et eller andet. Lægen fik øjenkontakt på Camilla og hendes mor. Straks henvendte han sig til dem. 

“Nåh det er dig, der har ondt i halsen?” spurgte Lægen søgende og smilende. Camilla nikkede bedrøveligt på hovedet.

“Følg du trygt mig så ser vi op det” og med et viste han Camilla og Moren ned på hans lægekontor” 

Moren og Camilla traskede efter ham med lange skridt igennem de hvide korridorer, der var som en helt labyrint i det hvidkalkede mursten bygget lægehus. 

Endelig var de inde på hans kontor og lægen stillede dem hende nogle spørgsmål om hvordan hun havde det og hvor hun havde mest ondt. Camilla hørte ikke rigtigt efter og nikkede bare imens lægen talte og enkelte gange fik hun fremskaffet et ja til det sagte.

“Nu har jeg undersøgt dig hurtigt og det ser ud til, at du er slemt forkølet. Du skal have noget pencillin før du bliver rask igen.”

“Okay, tak..” svarede Camilla bedrøveligt ham. Moren nikkede til lægen og spurgte ham så, hvad han synes om hendes tilstand. Jo hun skal nok klare den og efter et par dage er hun fit og frejdig igen.

 

Jeg formoder det er bihulebetændelse, men det er alt for tidligt at konstatere. Men nu udskriver jeg noget medicin også skal i bare hente det på apoteket senere. Det skal nok gå søde sluttede han med at sige. Moren blev lettet og takkede lægen alt hvad hun kunne. “Mit eneste barn er syg, hvordan kan jeg nogensinde takke dig spurgte moren lægen. Hun rødmede lidt da hun sagde det. Hun havde måske en skjult bagtanke..

“Det behøves du ikke svarede han hende. Det er jo en del af mit job svarede han med et tandpasta smil.”

Moren smilte ham igen og slog blikket ned og op igen indtil hun fik øjenkontakt med den blåøjet mandlige læge og fik fremstammet:  “Må jeg takke dig ved, at invitere dig på frokost. Er det iorden?” Spurgte hun ham direkte. 

Lægen stod lidt forlegent og tænkte godt og grundigt ligesom urviseren på et stort bornholmerur gør det. Hvad skulle lægen dog svare hende, han ville jo gerne fremstå professionelt qua sin profession. Han fik fremstammet et “tjaa.. måske” mumlede han. Hun tolkede det staks som et ja og skyndte sig at følge op på det med et varmt godt svar.


Men inden den tanke faldt på gulvet afbrød moren ham hurtigt og måske lidt snarrådigt. “Må jeg ikke invitere dig på middag nu på fredag?”

Moren smilede imens hendes finger kørte igennem hendes lange brune krøllede hår.
“Det vil være så dejligt for mig og min datter at have dig på besøg sagde hun leende.

De snakkede lidt løst og fast frem og tilbage. Lægen blev mere og mere blu og moren tog igen ejerskab over samtalen. Hun nappede en kuglepen fra lægens bord og begyndte at skrive sit telefonnummer og adresse ned på en lap papir. Hun stak ham det i hånden og svarede: “Det ville være super fint af dig, hvis vi kan mødes på fredag og hvis du ikke kan finde vores hus, så har du også mit telefonnummer her” sagde hun bestemt med en kurre på tråden. “Tak og vi ses på fredag” kvittede hun samtalen af med.

Camilla og hendes mor skulle på apoteket for at hente medicinen, som lægen havde ordineret til hende. Da de kom hjem tog Camilla medicinen. På få dage efter havde hun det meget bedre, som lægen jo også havde sagt. Da det blev fredag var Camilla blevet helt rask igen. Moren havde det på samme måde og imens hun tænkte dagens plan igennem kyssede hun den røde læbestift.

English:

Dark clouds had gathered in the distance. Camilla was probably sitting inside with her mother. However, Camilla coughed and felt very tired. She was sick. She wanted her mother to take her to the doctor’s clinic.

“Mother, I feel very sick indeed,” she said in a low, devout voice.

“I think I’d better take you to the doctor,” said the mother as Camilla snorted.

They got into their battered car and drove to the hospital while the rain slowed. They went into the waiting room. Here stood the handsome divorced doctor talking to the secretary about something. The doctor made eye contact with Camilla and her mother. Immediately he addressed them.

“Well, you’re the one with the sore throat?” asked the doctor searchingly and smiling. Camilla nodded sadly.

“Follow me safely, and we’ll look into it,” With one, he showed Camilla and Moren down to his doctor’s office.

The mother and Camilla trudged after him with long strides through the white corridors, which were like a complete labyrinth in the whitewashed brick hospital building.

Finally, they were inside his office, and the doctor asked them how she felt and where she was in the most pain. Camilla didn’t really listen and just nodded while the doctor spoke, and a few times, she got a yes to what was said.

“Now I have examined you quickly, and it seems that you have a bad cold. You need some penicillin before you get well again.”

“Okay, thanks..” Camilla sadly answered him. The mother nodded to the doctor and then asked him what he thought of her condition. Yes, she will probably make it, and after a few days, she will be fit and cheerful again.

I suspect it’s sinusitis, but it’s far too early to tell. But now I’m prescribing some medicine. You just have to pick it up at the pharmacy later. It’ll be fine, sweetie, he finished saying. The mother was relieved and thanked the doctor all she could. “My only child is sick.

How can I ever thank you,” the mother asked the doctor? She blushed a little when she said that. Maybe she had a hidden ulterior motive…

“You don’t need to,” he answered her. It’s part of my job, he replied with a toothpaste smile.”

The mother smiled at him again and looked down and up again until she made eye contact with the blue-eyed male doctor and stammered out, “May I thank you by inviting you to lunch. Is that all right?” She asked him directly.

The doctor stood a little embarrassed and thought carefully, just as the hands on a large Bornholmer clock do. What was the doctor supposed to answer her? After all, he wanted to appear professional in terms of his profession. He got out a “well.. maybe,” he muttered. She immediately interpreted that as a yes and hurried to follow it up with a warm good answer.

But before that thought fell to the floor, his mother interrupted him quickly and perhaps a little hastily. “Can I invite you to dinner this Friday?”

The mother smiled as her finger ran through her long brown curly hair.
“It will be so nice for my daughter and me to have you visit,” she said, laughing.

They talked a little loosely and firmly back and forth. The doctor became increasingly blue, and the mother again took ownership of the conversation.

She grabbed a pen from the doctor’s table and began to write down her phone number and address on a piece of paper. She put it in his hand and replied: “It would be super nice of you if we could meet on Friday, and if you can’t find our house, you also have my phone number here,” she said firmly with a coo on the line. “Thank you, and I’ll see you on Friday,” she concluded the conversation.

Camilla and her mother had to go to the pharmacy to pick up the medicine that the doctor had prescribed for her. When they got home, Camilla took medicine. In a few days, she felt much better, as the doctor had said. By the time it was Friday, Camilla had recovered completely. The mother felt the same way, and while she thought through the day’s plan, she kissed the red lipstick.

Linux

Some various blaffing regarding Linux

The history of Linux

It all began in 1991, during the time of monumental computing development. DOS had been bought from a Seattle hacker by Bill Gates, for a sum of $50,000 – a small price for an operating system that had managed sneak its way across the globe due to a clever marketing strategy.

Apple’s OS and UNIX were both available, though the cost of running either was far greater than that of running DOS. Enter MINIX, an operating system developed from the ground up by Andrew S. Tanenbaum, a college professor. MINIX was part of a lesson plan used to teach students the inner-workings of an operating system.

Tanenbaum had written a book on MINIX called “Operating System” and anyone who had picked up a copy would find the 12,000 lines of code that comprised MINIX itself. This was a big issue; due to the fact that all know (well published) operating systems to that point had been well guarded by software developers, thus making it difficult for people to truly expand on operating system mechanics.
Then came Linus Benedict Torvalds.

At the time he was a sophomore majoring in Computer Science at the University of Helsinki, his hobby also included computer programming. At 21 he found himself spending most of his time toying with computer systems, trying to see what he could do in order to push their limits and increase their functionality. The key missing in his tests was an operating system that had the flexibility craved for by professionals. MINIX was available, though it was still just a study tool and not meant for heavy workloads.


With the current spreading trend of open-source, and tools readily available, Linus began developing an operating system that was a deviation for MINIX. He used resources made available through the GNU project (known as GNU’s Not Linux), which was a developmental stage of a UNIX-type operating system that was open source. He kept the file system structure, and ported bash(1.08) as well as gcc(1.40), for “practical reasons”. Once a small compilation was complete he released it on the web labeling it simply as “0.01” and asked for testing from MINIX users.

A few months later after receiving numerous tweaks from other users, Linus released “0.02” in the month of October. A few weeks later after even more testing version “0.03” was released and by December of that year “0.10” was released. With the advent of “0.11” more support for device drivers had been made available (e.g. Multilingual Keyboards / VGA). Today version numbers reach up towards “0.95” and “0.96”, due to the fact that code has been made readily available to the public for tweaking, much as it was in its early stages.


Now that development was out of the way (to an extent), it was then on Linus to distribute. Confrontation arose when months after his OS had been distributed; Linus received an email from Tanenbaum, quoting “I still maintain the point that designing a monolithic kernel in 1991 is a fundamental error. Be thankful you are not my student. You would not get a high grade for such a design :-)”. Linus had later admitted that this was not one of the high points in his O.S.’ design, however he replied to Tanenbaum “Your job is being a professor and researcher: That’s one hell of a good excuse for some of the brain-damages of MINIX”.

Around this time Linus and his fellow testers had agreed it was time to appropriately name the operating system (something other than MINIX v.XX). The name “Linux” was chosen, after the name of its creator Linus. The name stuck, and is now extremely popular amongst tech wizards and students alike.


Time passed, and as Linux’s popularity grew, commercial vendors began to snatch up the code. Many companies such as Caldera, Red-Hat, SuSE (which is now owned by Novell), and Debian took the code and put it in an easily distributable format.

They also gave it multiple GUI’s such as GNOME, X-Windows, and KDE, making it much easier to use and attracting less tech-oriented customers. Linux has remained open-source however now that commercial vendors own their own “Distros” or distributions of Linux, some pieces of code (at least for individual distros) are being kept under wraps.
Many interesting things have happened with Linux since its beginning days. It has been developed now to be portable (able to transfer systems) with palm pilots, and other chipsets. One distro was even designed with multi-processor computing in mind, and was used to link 68 computers together to create a parallel processing machine, used to compute shock waves from atomic blasts. It cost one around one tenth of a commercial super-computer (minus time and effort) and is extremely stable (it was said to run for at least 4 months before it needed a reboot.)
The most notable thing about Linux today is it’s following. Linux is well known as one of the best open source operating systems available, and many people swear by its name.

There are Linux fan clubs, websites, and research organizations simply devoted to making Linux better, and more widely available for use. As for Linus Torvalds, not much has changed since he developed the operating system itself. He is not rich like Bill Gates, a fact he is proud of. He is happy being one (if not the) best known programmer of his time, for forwarding progress in the field of computing and operating system mechanics.

Since Linux’s debut he has attended multiple workshops and traveled all around the globe to speak on his operating system. It is a true substitute for Windows, and is rock solid in terms of core programming.

My current desktop in 2022

I am using Mint after being a long time Arch Linux user. My current desktop is heavily inspired by Garuda Cinnamon.

Contacts

Contacts

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Kasper Riis Zülow
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